Wednesday, November 30, 2022
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Rice, Tomato, & Hamburger Oh My

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER:

Today, I decided I would show my support towards “A Couple” of Content Executives on what I consider is a huge content category and opportunity for Comedy Chair; that category being food and cooking. Yes, me, cooking. Hope you enjoy! This recipe isn’t for the faint of hearts.

Welcome to the world-renowned kitchen of Ryan Kwasneski, aka “Kwasmoney”! Today’s menu features a local favorite cuisine and Mama Kwas special: Rice, Tomato, and Hamburger. But before we get into the recipe and the steps of cooking this mouth watering meal, I wanted to address a rumor going around about myself and Rice, Tomato, and Hamburger. I cannot confirm or deny the omission of not knowing what ingredients contained in Rice, Tomato, and Hamburger 😉.

Rice, Tomato, and Hamburger Ingredients

  • 1 LBS of Ground Beef
  • 1 “Mississippi” second Olive Oil
  • 1/2 Tupperware of Instant Rice
  • Light Dusting of Lawry’s Seasoning Salt
  • 1 Can of Petite Diced Tomatoes

Rice, Tomato, and Hamburger Recipe

  • First step, which isn’t often said in recipes, is when to pullout the ingredients. Whether that be all at once or throughout the cooking process. So for transparency sake, pull out all the ingredients listed above. The additional tools you will need to complete this feast are a frying pan, spatula like thing, strainer, and a speaker to play some cooking beats. Shoutout to the Mamma Mia 2 Here We Go Again soundtrack for providing the toe tapping music while cooking.
  • Grab your frying pan and put it on the stove top. Side note, who ever came up with the brilliant idea of having only 1 set of burners as an option for a stovetop, shame on you. Worst stovetop to ever do it. Turn the stove top to high heat. While your frying pan is getting warm, take the olive oil and do a 1 “Mississippi” second pour in the middle. Swirl the frying pan around a bit to move around the olive oil.
  • After you have your frying pan lubed up, drop the 1 lbs of ground beef in (add more meat if needed). This meal is for 2 people, so 1 lbs will be plenty for the hamburger portion of this meal. Take the spatula like thing and start to break apart the ground beef. The ground beef used in this meal is from Paulina Market. Once the ground beef is broken up, take the Lawry’s Season Salt and do a light dusting over the ground beef. Now, let that beautiful piece of meat cook for a bit.

This Recipe is sponsored by A Couple of Slices. An exciting new series coming to Comedy Chair from our very own Nelly Noms and Matty Ice.

  • While your ground beef is cooking, it’s time to get the fluffy foundation of the meal ready. Grab a Tupperware (Yes I know. Don’t worry, I Still Hate Tupperware! Just don’t know any other way to cook rice.) and pour instant rice to about the half way point of the Tupperware container. Fill it up about 1/4 with water. Place into the Microwave and cook for 8 minutes.
  • Make sure to continue to check on and move the ground beef around to the point of where all the ground beef looks cooked. This should take about 10-15 minutes depending on the stovetop. Once the ground beef looks brown and cooked, grab the can of petite diced tomatoes. I prefer to use Red Gold’s petite diced tomatoes. Before dumping it into the frying pan, open the can (obvi) and drain the tomato juice. Pour the petite diced tomatoes into the frying pan and mix them around with the ground beef. Let cook for another 5 minutes.
  • If you’re a master chef like myself, you will be able to time it up with the rice cooking in the microwave. Once the rice done cooking, dump the rice into the strainer to enough all of the water is strained out. Then, pour the rice back into the Tupperware.
  • Now it’s time for the most important part of cooking…PLATING the meal. Think of this like a blank canvas and you are a talented artist. First, put the rice onto the plate. Then, take a spoon with slits (so the grease will drain; shoutout to Paulina Market because there really wasn’t any grease to drain which is why it wasn’t part of the earlier instructions) and start gently putting the hamburger tomato mix on top (or on the side for Nicole 🙄). And wallah! Rice, Tomato, and Hamburger is served. Bon Appétit 😋

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