Friday, September 29, 2023
Home Sports Remember Sebastian Janikowski's 76-Yard Field Goal?

Remember Sebastian Janikowski’s 76-Yard Field Goal?

Yeah, neither does anyone else. Probably due to the fact that it didn’t work.

But to try and fail miserably is better than to have kneeled on the ball and potentially saved your players from injury. You know who said that? 2008 Oakland Raiders head coach, Lane fucking Kiffin, that’s who.

It’s decisions like this that led to an absolutely electric tenure for Kiffin with the black and silver, ultimately ending with his dismissal after the team started 1-3. And from there, you most likely know the rest of the Kiffin story that’s still continuing today like a speeding locomotive at Ole Miss. I mean, just try telling me this doesn’t look like the face of a man completely confident in his Special Teams decisions and playmaking ability. Truly a coaching gem if we’ve ever seen one.

Also, this blog isn’t to rag on my boy Lil’ (but actually kind of big) Sebastian Janikowski. Never has an adult male Pollack inspired me as much as Janikowski did on this kick besides the owner of Kolatek’s Bakery & Deli on Harlem, and if you’ve ever had their sourdough then you know that’s the highest of praises. Ole Jany took his slightly overweight beer belly out to his team’s own 30-yard line like he was setting up for a chip shot, took three good steps, connected with the pigskin, and promptly left it a good 15-20 yards short of its destination. That type of blind confidence can’t be taught, folks. It’s a mix of absurd athletic genetics and raw unfiltered confidence that you just don’t see in these new-fangled kicker types. Now you just get one or the other. Sure, Justin Tucker fits in well with his more culturally-in-tune teammates, but for the love of God have you seen that twig frame? That would never fly with our boy Jany. Not even Michaelangelo himself could have carved this figure out of granite.

So here’s to you Jany, wherever you might be. Hopefully, it’s back in the motherland, pouring back a few cold ones, and trying to hit the side of a sheet metal factory from distance.


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